Coaching can seem like a bit of a mystery if you’ve never experienced it before and I get a lot of questions about who I work with and what happens during coaching. To help answer these questions I’ve been asking my clients to share their stories. First up is Ben.

I worked with Ben between December 2018 and June 2019. When we started working together he had been through multiple cycles of job hunting and soul searching to find the right job but kept getting stuck. His goals at the beginning of our sessions were:

• to find a job that makes him tick by October 2019 – a deadline that coincides with the arrival of his first child!

• to improve his confidence across all aspects of his life

Over to Ben!

My background

I’m thirty-eight and my struggle with finding the right career starter whilst in secondary school. The state school I attended in the nineties offered very limited careers advice. The world of work was very different back then and a job / vocation for life was still very much the default.  If you lacked direction and didn’t know your strengths it was hard to know how to progress.

Following the trend at the time, I went to college to study A-levels. The subjects I chose weren’t particularly suited to me, but I felt like I needed to progress into a career that I was qualified in and these seemed the best options.

During my college years discussed future opportunities and ideas around apprenticeships with my relatives but they were sure apprenticeships were on their way out, and my main career path lay with going to university, so… off I went! It seemed that everybody chose university at this time as if it was the correct path for all to achieve their career goals.

I did what seemed to be the norm and chose a generic degree (Geography). There was definitely a message around vocational subjects and qualifications being quite restrictive. In hindsight it was probably the other way around! Geography was a subject I enjoyed but without funding and further study (an MA) it was quite hard to use the skills learnt to make it a useful career. 

After studying for three years I had had a good time, but I was also well and truly skint! And this is where I fell into the finance struggle and vicious cycle that stopped me finding my true vocation.

After leaving university I desperately needed money, so I got a job as an estate agent. I was drawn to this job because it didn't require specific qualifications, just social skills and determination (both of which I had) and it had good earning potential. Unfortunately, it didn’t take me long to discover that sales wasn’t my bag!

So, this was the start of many jobs that I could get without having any specific qualifications. There wasn’t much of a pay structure with these jobs, and the pay was quite low. This meant I couldn’t afford to retrain as I had rent to pay. Over the years I tried different fields in a hope to find a job that challenged me and gave me satisfaction. I don’t think this is a terrible way of finding a job you like but unfortunately, I didn’t stumble across one.

Holding myself back

Looking back now, it’s easy to see how my own thoughts, beliefs and fears held me back from making the decisions that were right for me. For years and years, I thought I needed to retrain and become a specialist in an area. In my mind, qualifications and expertise would give me confidence and if I had confidence, I’d be able to get my dream job.

I wanted a job with variety and further training to keep me engaged. I discussed my issues with my family but the response was that I had a job so I should be happy with it. One comment that stuck in my head was the following: “70% of the population aren’t happy with their work so you just have to put up with it.” These were people whose opinions mattered to me and it left me feeling despondent. Any aspirations to better myself vanished with this comment, along with my confidence.

Into my early thirties I was still struggling with the viscous cycle and had various bouts of depression brought on by not having work that felt fulfilling and the constant worry that I would never find my vocation. It was so frustrating. I knew I wanted a career that I enjoyed and could be proud of, but this seemed to be out of my reach. I struggled with self-doubt and confidence issues that hindered my progress over and over again.

I then met my partner and things began to change. We started to do up properties and build equity which was something that I really enjoyed; it also gave me a clue that I was a practical person. During this time, I started to notice my strengths. I found I had project management, organisational, administration and management skills that I didn’t realise I had!

The catalyst for change

Working on doing up houses gave me an insight into what it was like to enjoy work. I liked to see change in a project, and this would keep me interested in the work and stave off the Sunday night blues. After completing six house refurbs and building up some savings (and reducing our mortgage) it felt like my time to start working on a long-term career change. Though I loved working on houses, the process interfered too much with life (constantly living in a building site) and I wanted a bit more financial stability.

I didn’t want to get stuck in another cycle of looking for the wrong opportunities so I thought I could do with some outside help and guidance. I wanted accountability to stay motivated and some help with making decisions. If I look back honestly, I think I initially wanted someone to tell me what to do and how to do it. I started researching career advice and came across coaching.

Coaching

I knew at this point that I wanted to be an electrician in some form, but I was confused about my options and needed help to get over some confidence and self-doubt issues that had been stopping me from finding a job. And that’s where Sarah came to my rescue!

I quickly discovered that she wasn’t going to make decisions for me, but she got me to a place where I could make my own decisions confidently – where I started to trust and believe in myself and my abilities. We went back to basics and I was able to work out my skills, strengths, values and passions which enabled me to focus better on what direction I needed to go in.

Coaching helped me to work out what I really wanted from my life and career, rather than continuing to fall back on what I thought I wanted, and what I thought I should be doing. We explored the pros and cons of several career options and how these best-matched my ideal life. After some self-investigation, I decided that a marine electrical apprenticeship (I love boats, by the way!) could be a good route for me in order to achieve my long-term goal of having a collection of useful skills and expertise that I can apply to other things and job that excites and interests me. The coaching helped me to stay motivated during the whole process. I was able to set myself weekly goals that kept me moving forwards.

Overcoming challenges

Job hunting is a bit of a roller coaster anyway, but the industry I was trying to break into is notoriously competitive and entry-level roles are geared towards college leavers. Sarah helped me stay on track mentally as I started to attend interviews. She gave me a mental toolbox to deal with the knockbacks and we spent a lot of time working on my confidence. The toolbox included ways of dealing with my inner critic and how to keep sight of my long-term goals when things didn’t go to plan.

I did feel discriminated against on several occasions through the process because of my age but with Sarah’s help and using the toolbox and I continued the fight to get the career I wanted.

I truly believe 16 through to 20 is SUCH a crucial time to get support with some key career pointers and understand your skills and passions. So many other people like me become trapped then struggle to afford to retrain or change direction… BUT IT’S NEVER TOO LATE!

I highly recommend coaching. It can bring clarity and help you through a daunting and challenging process. It helps you get the head space to work through your options. I had a great experience working with Sarah and have learnt some skills that will be useful throughout my life. I’ve learnt more about myself in the last few months than I ever did while I was studying and now have a new, more positive way of thinking.

The future

In May 2019, I was offered two separate apprenticeships and was able to pick the one I felt most passionate about. In September 2019, I started my dream job as a trainee marine electrical engineer with Sunseeker, the UK’s largest yacht maker, and my confidence has skyrocketed (though this is ongoing progress). My first child is due in a couple of weeks and I can’t wait. I will always be very grateful to Sarah for the support and guidance she gave me. In fact, I’m going to continue working with Sarah for a bit longer because her support during my job transition and transition to fatherhood will be invaluable.